"Did you ever notice that "What the hell...

is always the right decision?" --Marilyn Monroe

I woke up with this quote in mind today after dream. I know people look down on Marilyn Monroe quotes (and her) but she wasn't another dumb blonde in my opinion. I think she was very insightful throughout that complicated life she had.

Anyway I woke up with a sixth sense kind of feeling that I need to go back to not over thinking things, say what the hell and go with the flow. The best things in my life have happened when I have stayed true to that personality trait of mine and I have this weird gut feeling something great is on the horizon. Not just for me but M & I and maybe for someone else that may come into our lives? My gut hasn't been wrong even in times I wished it had been so I am going to trust in this feeling. Weird huh? Well I am a gypsy...ok not really but maybe my Phoenician heritage can count for something?

Either way I am going to trust in this feeling. Hopefully I'll remember this feeling when the moments are there... which is why I am writing this post so I can have this gentle reminder in the back of my head. Let's just hope my brain says to me "What the hell! Stop thinking!" when the time(s) is right!

Here is a beautiful Vermont sunrise..because I am looking forward to what may be on the horizon.

Those moments

I finished my month on Vascular surgery! I'm pretty sad actually, I loved my team. I enjoyed the amputations, (especially when the gangrenous foot is removed...trust me you can't imagine a worst smell...and don't say poop, poop is nothing compared to gangrene!Give me poop any day!), bypasses, all the wound care (wound vacuum placements are my favorite...it's like a fun puzzle..on a body part). Vascular patients are an interesting bunch, you get those that want to improve their health..stop smoking, control their diabetes, take their blood pressure meds after they have gotten to the point of needing a Vascular surgeon. And then you have the ones that are just like why chop off one toe at a time,just take my whole foot while they complain that they can't smoke in the hospital, that it's painful and why they can't order a burger, fries and 2 deserts( true story). I did vascular for a week last year and I left liking vascular but hating the patients. Basically I didn't have patience for the patients. This time, four weeks, and I finally found my footing with the vascular patients. It was nice to convince the lady that was in trouble not to leave on her own accord and let us take her to the intensive care unit or have a patients teen daughter jump into your arms to say thank you because I stayed with her mother for 40 minutes, to control and stop a bleed by pinpoint pressure all by myself. Those are moments that renew my drive.

More moments that renew me and bring me inner peace is my one day off a week where I spend my day making the most of my amazing gift of life: my daughter

We've done brunch days, beach days, scenic drives,farms & farmers market days, church (If I happen to get a Sunday off). Guess what guys?! This balancing Surgery and mommyhood may actually work! Those are the best moments of the past 4 weeks in a nut shell.

On that note, here is a photo by Philip McKay



that also captures a moment of renewal.

Peaceful.

If the shoe fits

Ok it's been 2 weeks, what have I been up to?
I started another acting internship in Vascular surgery. Which I am loving thus far.
I had a guest come into town for a couple days. The EX. Second time in 4 years, he has made it to Vermont so we had lots to do.
Overall I've been busy . Gasp. Shocker I know.
Except the fact I am way behind on my residency application due in a few weeks, it's been a swell couple of weeks.
Vascular surgery. I don't know if it's the fact it's here in Vermont where I am in love with the surgery department (like the toughest surgeons are still teddy bears inside) but I wake up every day excited to go in. I haven't even been in the OR nearly as much as I was in my UAB AI in Surgical Oncology. Everybody is taking vacation, which is great for them bad for me, I get less OR time,less patients(ok maybe a good thing) and less facetime with potential letter writers. But still I feel more in my element. It is definitely the combination of surgery being my best fitting shoe and UVM surgery feeling like a good style for that shoe. We'll see. I just dropped a DC rotation to stay here for an extra 4 weeks to really test out the theory.


Oh by the way, here's to hoping this shoe fits. Funky but growing on me! I could spice up any casual jean outfit with these

Back from camping

Ha! You didn't think I meant this




because that's going to take a while before that happens...

I won't say never because I never thought I would like hiking (well to be fair, I didn't own a pair of sneakers or shoes without a minimum of 4 inch heels until a year ago) and I do.

And if you know me, you know I will try anything once! (As long as it doesn't endanger my life because I have to think of M) However there are very few friends I feel comfortable enough with (sorry folks..there's bears out there) to spend a night in the woods with...and they are not around right now so yeah...no.

What I mean by camping is summer camp! I was an assistant director of a MedQuest camp last week (kind of like a camp counselor). And I was in northern Vermont though, so there was scenery. So I got to break out my DSLR. Like these shots I took?

I hope I'll get better but these were just fun quick snaps.

What is MedQuest? It is a week long exploration of health careers for 20 fifteen y/o bright teens. And even though it wasn't my first time doing it, I do think my group this year was even more amazing! I had a lot of fun! Really miss the girls from my suite and all the girls and all the guys...basically I miss them all. I just love adolescents. Made me think maybe I should have done pediatrics after all and somehow just deal with adolescents. But alas I know that while I can hang out and mentor for a week, being in an office playing duck duck strep throat just doesn't work well for me.

It also made me remember that when I was 15, I really didn't even consider being a doctor. This was my list in my diary from when I was 14 (last time I wrote in a diary...)
1. Choreographer
2. Fashion designer/Boutique owner
3. Wedding planner
4. Spoken word poet
5. Cake designer
6. Interior designer
7. Photographer for the National Geographic

Granted even if I hadn't been on a serious track for oneof these, I still don't think I would have ever spent a week of my time in a medical centered camp. I truly admire these kids. And I can't wait to follow them and see where they land! And hopefully some of them will be my colleagues one day :)

Funny thing is though, I really still kind of want to do ALL of those careers to this day...and if you've known me for a long while you know I dabbled in pretty much all of them in some way or another like a child with severe ADHD. Oh well. I do plan on taking a cake design course one day for sure as well as I think I can still do number three. DUH! I'll just pull an Elizabeth Taylor. Le sigh.

I would offer more of my bridesmaid services but I'm frightened of becoming this girl:

Stay at home moms deserve medals

Seriously!!!

I can't say that enough. I took a week of vacation this week...well actually I should be doing my research project but I decided to do all the reading parts at night (you know after my lovely diva falls sleeps after midnight) and take the 1st 7 days as vacation/Mimi time. And so I have been a stay at home mom for 6.5 days (I returned home Monday afternoon) and gave my mom as much off time as I could...actually I have hardly seen my mom these past 6 days and I'm convinced that there is a secret passageway in our 3 bedroom house. Really. Earlier I checked our basement after she wasn't in the sunroom, living room, kitchen, her bedroom, Mimi's room, my room and she popped out from behind me with a sly smile. With my mom, it is not far fetched at all that she knows somewhere I don't.

Any-who, in the past 6 days I have been all about Mimi. I've done schooltime, piano practice, dance lessons, reading time, trips to library, park and museum, our starbucks runs, my attempts at "cooking" (She then asked Grandma for food...) and all the other 100 things motherhood entails. Sorry folks, I'm more exhausted than my 4am-8pm shifts in surgery last week!!! I'm actually downplaying my exhaustion right now. Granted my little 4 year old has the energy level of 10 kids and is too bright to just stay put in front of the TV for more than 10 minutes(sue me I tried). She even takes her kindle to act out what she wants to watch in which I must play a part in as well, or act out the book or play the game with her as a narrator of what she is doing... Even at starbucks she insisted on talking to everyone and acting out scenes from tangled (the disney movie...just in case..) which led to a mom &daughter as a small audience. The mom then said to me "She should be an actress, she's really good".

So every time I do this crazy stay at home mom experiment; I remember how stir crazy I went the 1st 3months of Mimi's life where I thought that maybe, just maybe I could do this amazing job too. I enrolled at Georgetown University 3 months later for my Masters.

Today, I actually left the house at 5pm to actually do some of my research and mainly to woo-saaah.  I love my daughter to the moon and back a thousand times...but oh my I am tired right now. I should have realized that I was tipping exhaustion when last night I opened this audiobook up:

and contemplated letting Samuel L. Jackson read Mimi to sleep. It was 12:53 am...and I plead the 5th as far as how she actually got to sleep.

In conclusion to all my ladies who are amazing stay at home moms, I'm drinking down a good martini for you right now. I'll live vicariously through you and one day I will sponsor a stay at home mom award show (I already have the perfect host Mimi). It will feature stay at home moms who will get glammed up by hollywood make up artists and stylists, walk down a red carpet and get some well deserved gold medals. I'm pitching this to reality show executive. On a serious note, I truly have already asked one of my cousins who happens to be in show business for her colleagues for this very reason. Inspiration usually hits me after exhaustion and martini's. Actually it was after some exhaustion and a few martinis when I decided to leave my previous career for medical school... Eh you win some, you lose some.


In the meantime

Total Glutton

My friend Gabe & I are texting like we usually do (we keep each other sane through medical school...he mostly keeps me sane but I have moments I like to think that I repay the favor) and since he is amazing,  he's applying to Vascular Surgery. In the midst of our usual sardonic musings I gave him a little "advice" while he is on his away AI to drink ensures in the morning to get more sleep ( no chewing, no preparation...good 10 mins more) and he responds with " Bagel while driving in, 4 minutes. Don't do well with liquid diets, tried it already". Exactly. We have already calculated ways of minimizing everything else in our lives so to keep up pace with the crazy world of surgery we're joining?! We are total gluttons for punishment! 

Looks like my life is going to be filled with conversations on how to convince congress to add a mandatory siesta hour to the workday(night,graveyard shift...). I want to unfriend myself right now as well.

However, a siesta hour?! Wouldn't that be awe-some?! That would make me happier than a slinky on an escalator.

Doesn't the slinky sound just like me? It's ok to agree, I came to terms that I sound like a 4 year old the day I called our residential office to ask for a maintenance man to come and was met with "Mimi your mommy has to call us ok, can you put your mommy on the phone?". I'm obviously very eloquent as well. 

Home Sweet Home

I'm home!!!

I was SO HAPPY to step off the plane and see my big little girl!!! She grew! We immediately went shopping for new lip gloss (that is what she wanted, lip gloss!). Coming home meant, I finished my surgical oncology rotation at UAB! I actually miss the 4 am mornings and the leaving the OR at 8pm (yes I am talking about the same day!). I really didn't have much time for any adventures down there, I spent my day off (yes 1 day/wk) usually sleeping, eating, and prepping for the next days surgery. Sounds like fun huh? I did go to two Birmingham Barons minor league baseball games, a quick boutique run (I did quite the damage) and grabbed a few cocktails here & there so I wasn't completely lame...but pretty close.  Actually I did a lot of eating there, Birmingham is a foodies dream! You may see more chipmunk cheeks in my face because yummmm! My last day the EX & I went to a maronite church, a great brunch with a big band playing and to the art museum. It was a great end to my month there. 

BUT I am so happy to be home! So far I am indulging Mims with whatever she wants (chocolate, Panera Bread, built her a firestation out of cardboard & wood for her fireman dolls....) just because I missed her so! 

"Mommy I was wondering if you love me and  will you take me to the quilt museum?" I guess I know what we are doing Friday!  I should really get to work as I am technically doing a research month but I think I'll do overtime to make up for it after the 4th of July and with a lot of late nights!  Tomorrow we're going to parades (a morning one and an afternoon one) and ending with fireworks. I have a nice DSLR and a great new digital camera and maybe it is time I start taking them places with me?! My HTC phone should not be my only source of memories esp since I love photography. It starts tomorrow! Get ready for a lot of Mimi photography on this blog.

In the meantime Mims & I are back at it...being our silly sassy selves! 

Our CVS lip gloss run :)

Home.Sweet.Home

p.s Oh and that news I was waiting for last post? My step 2 score. I'll let Kim Kardashian express my feelings:

Alternate universe

Life has been on super speed lately...which is what surgery usually is. It's funny how much I light up being in the OR and how much fun I have in the hospital yet I go home and it is like *enter sound effects* craaaasssh! I have been so tired. Going home means watching 1 show to numb my brain (thank you abcfamily), reading up for the OR cases or clinic or conference or presentation or proposal or....etc for the next day. But I am getting a little sad that in 3 days, I'll be done with my rotation. I have been in an alternate universe where surgeons say please & thank you, scrub nurses love and want to help medical students (I was seriously convinced that part of the scrub curriculum had a class "How to haze the medical student"...) but the biggest thing is I have truly enjoyed every single attending, resident etc I have worked with. I really like it here which is interesting because when I step outside of the hospital walls...I'm still in Alabama.

But I have gotten 1 night of cocktails in (yes one night...woot) , 1 day of an awesome farmers market (I miss home!! Farmers markets aren't the same without M..I miss M...so much) and of finding some awesome boutiques. It may be bad for my budget if I actually lived here.

Tomorrow is a big day as I get some big news so I spent the past hour gazing at some beautiful artwork online to help get my mind off of it. I found this awesome artist whom I really just fell in love with: Omar Ortiz from Guadalajara, Mexico. Maybe I have a thing for Mexicans?

It's nothing jaw dropping when you look at the common van gogh remake & the overdone feminine naked back scene...yet I'm fascinated enough that I looked at more of his work.




All of his art seemed to mainly involve naked women so I'll just stick to posting this one.
I like this one. I'm not sure this would work in my living room...or even as my facebook cover however.

Storm before the calm

My friend Nazi & I decided to do our very first acting internships (in our preferred fields...I did an internal medicine one already... ruled out internal medicine for sure) AWAY from our home school. Kind of BOLD but I tend to do the unexpected and rage against the norm. We started off by driving 24 hrs from Burlington, Vermont to Birmingham,Alabama...through stormy weather. Like crazy stormy weather which would turn out to be a perfect metaphor for my first week. We arrived at 6:30 am in time to get dressed and make it to our 8am orientation. Let me tell you, finding a new place, learning a new electronic medical record (or even getting the access) and trying to figure out how the team (I'm on surgical oncology) works while trying to make a good impression and be helpful is well...stormy. One of the residents told me that UAB is "very sink or swim", they throw you out to sea and you chose one. Well I felt like I was sinking and I needed floaty devices! My mind was like turned off, I was still exhausted from the drive and lack of sleep. Yet needed to prep and be up & out by 4am....so Monday & Tuesday (and Weds & Thursday...) I failed at any pimping questions. Like I knew NADA. I was in a total brain fog and full of Triple F's (Franki Filter Fails).

But on Wednesday I went into the OR for the first time. It was like yoga for me...all the nerves settled and my heart stopped racing and it was the band-aid that I just needed to riiiiip off!Zeeeeennnnn. I was so happy I didn't break sterility or do something utterly stupid.

By Thursday I was looking forward to a day in the OR and boy did I get my wish: 7am-8pm straight in the OR! I left tired, body aching and hungry... but I was happy. Like seriously, y'all won't believe how happy I was after 13 hours straight!!??!!(I'm in the south ok...y'alls are easy to catch, just like the common cold). The OR is where I really relax, I feel I can be myself and I feel I can be good without trying too hard or faking it and I leave happy and want to back in. Most importantly,I think it may really just be what I love....Either way I think I ended my first week thinking; finally maybe the storm is breaking

This beautiful painting by Samantha Keely Smith really captures my week. I love it.



Well I have today off (one day off a week). Nazi & I started celebrating and exploring Birmingham, AL last night...but that my friends will have to be a whole 'nother blog post :)

Personality au chocolait

We're a chocolate family.

My mom has always been a milk chocolate lover. It is kind of like her, mixed and complicated but wonderful. 

Yesterday we introduced Mimi to white chocolate and her face was like

and now she is addicted. It fits her. She is sweet, silly and sassy.

I am the dark chocolate one, which makes me... tangy and bitter...well that's about right.

And if you know a guy that is white chocolate with rich swirls of deep, dark and handsome. Send him my way :P (ahem...just kidding...maybe...)

But not him:  he is just creepy

Khalil

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” 
-- Khalil Gibran

Every morning this week as I drive into school, I have been seeing this homeless man and I have been giving him $2 each time. I can't help it. It is something I have always done since I was a teenager. And while I knew when I was a kid, that half the time I would be probably aiding an addiction...I just couldn't help but be optimistic. And while I have found myself jaded as I have gone through medical school and I have seen homeless people in the ED suffering from alcohol withdrawal...I still can't help it. I think about all the patients I have seen that come into the ED pretending to be in withdrawal so they could get some food, or the people who used to be high functioning individuals and their disease (alcoholism) has destroyed their lives. Today when I went to give this same guy $2 as I waited for the red light of my highway exit he said to me : "You know, you're the reason I have eaten this whole week and I interviewed for a job because I wasn't hungry...thank you." And I thought of the quote at the top and smiled.

Mommy 1!

My daughter is wise beyond her years. It is kind of scary but super cute. Last night I was getting her ready for bedtime (at midnight...yup) and she stated "I don't want you to sleep with me tonight, I want grandma". But it didn't hurt me because I, for once, have outsmarted my four year old! I immediately knew the reason she wanted my mom is because Grandma is usually exhausted by midnight and falls asleep. In which case Mimi get her kindle and reads books or watches shows until 2 am. I have awoken to find this many a times. I just knew that this little smart one wanted Grandma so she could do that...again! You should have seen the look on her face when I said "No Grandma tonight, just mommy and Mimi going to sleep...and no kindle.". She was furious and kept singing in bed "I want my computer"...for 30 minutes. Until she fell asleep.



Mommy: 1
Mimi: 1000

I'm catching up.

Flame Lily

Last night I took a break from studying to have a low key Saturday night of Chinese food, wine and a romantic comedy with two of my friends Kat & Nazi. Sometimes a girl just needs to escape with her girls into a world of ridiculousness and romance. Where a guy sings to you at a wedding and tells the whole world that you hooked up, nothing says romance like that. 

I have failed with the wine as of late. I went a whole month without a single glass *gasp* so here goes my attempt at a wine review!  

Flame Lily Pinot Noir was the wine of the night. With an aroma of cherries with hints of tobacco, wood and honey; it started off promising. It goes down as standard pinot noir, with a savoring of full more sour than sweet grapes. But the aftertaste was bitter, reminiscent of lead and moldy pine resin. And the aftertaste haunts you for hours. While the flame lily flower is also called a Gloriosa, this was not so glorious. A good Pinot Noir pairs well with Mongolian beef, just not this one. So stay away my friends. 

 ----> --->

Sorry I couldn't help myself. 

I also like the name of Red Fern for Blue Ivy's brother as suggested by Joan Rivers.

David Baker

If you know me, you know I love art...almost as much as I love wine. I really love my wine. But anyway, I love art so I frequent art blogs. They usually come after my favorite celeb blog pinkisthenewblog, whatweshouldcallmedschool tumbler and wine blogs. Today I stumbled onto an artist named David Baker. This particular piece of his struck a cord with me:



Not only because of his Norman Rockwell like feeling and realism but...maybe because I always thought I would be this kind of mom. Maybe I miss my original plan of performing and living in the fashion world until I got old enough to retire (28 is average age of retirement) then owning my couture boutique and splitting my time at home with six kids (yes I wanted six kids...still kind of do...), with plenty of family adventures and overseeing my boutique. Seems kind of crazy now because in 1 short year from this day I will be graduating and starting a residency where I will average 80 hours a week at the hospital...

Part of me sometimes just wants to take that MD and put it on a wall next to a picture of this


Then go off, put on a green dress and fall asleep exhausted with a little innocent mischief running around.... preferably five more of them.

Guess who's back...back again...

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/9780553/?claim=ru8zhdsaaar">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>


Okay. It's been a few months and I haven't posted. It's not that I forgot...While I was busy, it was more that I literally haven't had much going on in my mind to put a blog post! I even missed all the award shows! So I thought eh my mind is going through a blank period but today I realized I was just avoiding thinking for a bit. Shorthand: I'm pent up and need to vent.

Quick update:
- Finished my psychiatry rotation. At the end my feedback said that I need to "learn how to validate psychiatric patients". My attention span couldn't take the 20 minutes of complaints and after a while I started having visions in my head of saying this:


So yeah, psych is not for me.
- Became a 4th year. Like whoa. In one year, I will be responsible for patients?! Um I can barely validate their feelings, don't leave me alone with them.
- I visited the ex-ish in Birmingham for two whole weeks. I'm not sure what is more shocking, the fact the ex & I survived two whole weeks together or that I survived two weeks in Birmingham ALABAMA. I can't even say Alabama without put a southern condescending twang in my voice. But they have a Saks 5th avenue! A SAKS! It made all the difference.
- Still working things out with the ex. Revamping the foundation of friendship. Yes, even after two weeks in AL with him. Btw, AL wasn't half bad...I'm even going back for a whole month next. More on that later.
- Finished my first acting internship in internal medicine. Also I'm finished with internal medicine, period. I can't listen to people talk for hours(psych), and I can't sit listening about rare medicine cases for hours (internal medicine). I was pretty miserable with not having much to do and listening to all the "interesting" medicine.

So what do I need to vent about?

Nothing. Everything. Mostly nothing. I just want to get back to reviving this blog and sharing with you guys! It's Friday night, I'm going to hang out with my popstar, you know the 4 year old who goes by the name of Mimi. She sleeps at midnight and wakes up at noon. But you guys have to



so I can live vicariously through you! ;)

yellow chick

Disclaimer: I wrote this in February and for some reason it didn't publish: Doing a psych rotation is great...lifestyle wise. I have gotten to do more in the past few days with M then I have when normally working (vacations are great, because then it is M time the entire time!). I got to take M to her doctor appointment, to piano school and to ballet school. There is one overwhelming theme however:




I'm the yellow chick trying to get into the group of brown chicks (yes I used a picture of baby chickens for my metaphor) in regards to the other moms.

Especially at ballet school. I shall call them momzillas. The momzillas are full time soccer moms/ housewives. There are usually 1 or 2 moms whom are not part of the momzillas and we usually engage in a group together...the antimomzillas. There is one pediatrician and one sociology professor.  Even the dads have a group. I have come to realize that the dads have their own group for a reason....protection from the momzillas.

But Thursday was my first time back at ballet school with M since October and the antimomzillas were no where to be found. So I put on my social cap and a smile. However, I can't get in. But I don't even try hard. I've learned that I have no recipes to share, no cleaning tips, I have no clue how a washing machine even works, I haven't read 50 shades of grey (and have no intention to) and I'm not sure what that rash is you have on your leg.

I do find it interesting how some of these women seem to "lose respect" for me when they hear that I am en route to being a full time working doctor. I think being a full time housemom is one of the greatest jobs in the world! It is so much fun, you are raising the next generation, you see the light of your life's every moment and you get to do what you love everyday!  I have the utmost respect for every single woman that decides to take on this hard yet fruitful job. I just happen to love medicine and want to do that everyday while enjoying my beautiful amazing M.

And I'm totally happy with this as my self portrait (minus the cooking pan, I can't cook. I have been known to burn water):



Just write an S across my chest and give me a cape.

SAG Fashion 2013

Last night was the SAG awards! 

The night had a definite color theme: Blues, Whites & Black.  

75 pictures later, I found my top 5.

#1 

Amanda Seyfried in Zac Posen

Best navy of the night! 

#2

Kerry Washington in Rodarte

I loved how she let the dress work itself and kept the accessories simple.

#3

Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior

This color looked amazing on her plus it was different from all the form fitting dresses out last night.

#4

Giuliana Rancic in Max Azria and Simon G Jewelry

The dress gave her curves while working the one shoulder look.

#5

January Jones in Prabal Gurung

Different and classic. Added bonus: she styled the hair and accessories just right.

Can you guys tell I am in Psychiatry rotation orientation right now? I'm highly enthralled *ahem*. Drugs, drugs and more drugs... which explains why all the dresses began looking like drug capsules after a while.

Case and point:


Now look at #3 Marion's dress again . 

Sweet home Alabama?! Eh...

So I went to ALABAMA. For 2 days.

The EX showed me around Birmingham, AL. 

He aimed at my love of scenery and photography: He took me to the Vulcan. Below the Vulcan. He has no underwear on.


Then we had desert over looking the city. I was enjoying a tres leches with this view:




He aimed at my love of fine food and wine:We had a lovely dinner at  Highlands Bar & grill which is not only the best in AL it is ranked one the top 30 (or 40) in the US and just made Esquire magazine's "Best bars in America" list in their February issue.  I recommend it if you are looking for great foie gras and rabbit 2 ways. I paired the rabbit with the house Rose and it was phenomenal. 


He aimed at my need for independence: I met with one of my friends from my Georgetown days whom is doing her Ph.D in cancer biology at UAB. It was SO AWESOME to see her!!! I really missed her.


Lastly, he aimed at my geekdom: He got one of his friends (who is a medical student) to give me a tour of the UAB hospital which was SO NICE! It serves 2/3rds of AL with Trauma hawk and trauma planes. It looked very comfy and the layout was great. I thought the Childrens hospital looked especially comfortable and I am not sure I want to do Pediatrics but I want to do a pediatrics rotation there. However one thing I do know about them, is the Surgical Oncology reputation they have!! Hmmmmm

So overall I had a great time and I didn't feel like I was in the wrong place...in my 48 hours there. I'm still skeptical. I was the only one you could hear click clacking (heels) through the hospital. Which is the norm at my home base in the Northeast. But when I do rotations in cosmopolitan places like south Florida, I'm just one of these girls


Overall,

He shoots, he scores! I had a good time. We survived each other ha! No really we survived. We are on the road to renewing our friendship after the two year hiatus...or at least surviving  :)

it's only technically the rest of my life

Yesterday I did something that I thought I would be too shy and private to do...I unveiled this blog to people who know me!It was nice to see I was getting some views but part of me had this nagging feeling I should share these thoughts with some people who actually know me as well. Not that I don't appreciate you awesome strangers who started reading my blog! Thank you as well!  But then the nagging feeling led to a lightbulb moment. AHA! VIP! I have a "VIP list" on facebook that is a handful of close friends & family. So I shared it with them. Hi VIP! And some fellow mommies in medical school, Hi Mommies in medical school! In fact it is all the love from my unveiling that prompted me to write another post today. And it is a long one!

What has been on my mind constantly lately is what to specialize in?! I was literally taking an end of clerkship shelf exam today when I found myself thinking of this very topic...in the middle of the exam. I'm hoping I bubbled in the answers right. I can see myself accidentally bubbling in and having it look like the word CHOOSE when you flip it to the side.
But it is only technically the rest of my life... kind of. Actually people switch IN residency a lot and a handful do a second residency after the first but I'm finding more gray hairs by the day, my eggs are dying, I want to stop being a wandering gypsy and I really just don't feel like being someone who is starting OVER in a residency (and with that sentence, I just jinxed myself I bet.)

Thing is I know what I love, but it conflicts with my other love. No, not fashion (but it kinda conflicts with that too). I'm talking about my family. I kind of want to be there to see all of Ms major life events...her first solo in ballet, her first day at high school, her first world tour. No really, world tour. Because at four years old she has decided to become a "rock star". And while most people would be like "aw how cute? It is just a phase". M is diva enough to make it happen (she begs me for dance classes, piano, singing lessons, agents...yes you read right: AGENTS). She set her mind at 3 years old and has been actively working towards it while I resisted, but after she introduced herself in Panera bread to a modeling agent I gave up. True story. Which just goes to show you that she's going to be a rock star.

And there I go falling  in love with a time intensive specialty because I just couldn't make it easy on myself. I'll be honest I came into medical school with two options in mind...and darn it I love one of them! Like seriously, I love it and I feel I could be great at it...and not sure I am good at anything else. Now I have this nagging feeling that I could end up missing her opening night of her first world tour. And that's just the start of the cons for choosing that specialty. *whining teenage voice* But I looooove it.

However, I'm trying to rack my mind with what else?! What else will I like just as much, or where else will I find my people?! (There's this thing in medical school, the different specialties have different personality types and you should find "your people")

 A year ago I found this cartoon from an awesome blog (The Underwear Drawer blogspot. <http://theunderweardrawer.blogspot.com/2011/03/12-medical-specialty-stereotypes-2011.html>) that sums the personality types up nicely


Seriously, I'm starting my last rotation of 3rd year on Monday and I can tell you THIS ^ is 100% accurate.

Here's a lovely flowchart by another type A medical student made to help me choose:



But in actuality THIS is how I've seen upperclassman choose:




Either way Monday  is the start of the lotteries and applications for my fourth year adventures that are supposed to help me get ready to apply for residency. And here I am scouring the internet for flowcharts to help me choose. Yeah... exactly. No worries though, I just bought a Chateau Cantemerle Bordeaux 2009 vintage. I'm going to relax with a glass or three. Then maybe create a twister floor poster with all the specialties I'm thinking about and spin the bottle after I'm done savoring it. Voila! Decision will be made. Now that's how you choose the rest of your life!

Migraine inspired art

Today I had to give a presentation in my Neurology clerkship and  I chose headaches. Broad topic...but I got through it in 15 minutes...the only negative feedback? "slow down when talking". Did you want to stay there longer? I could have made those 15 slides feel like 50. Oh attendings! All joking aside, the team of neurologists and my two preceptors here have been amazing. Such a great time, I'm sad for it to end in a few days. But today I learned something cool today during my Neurology case discussions: Migraine inspired art! .










No worries fellow migraine suffers. I honestly get it. I would have sumatriptan dispensers out there if it were ya know, legal. But the art lover in me really wants to buy that book for my coffee table.

Ladies & Gentlemen now introducing ME!

Me to my ex husband (it's complicated, and we'll get into that) "I think maybe I'm going to start a blog" Him: "Are you that important that you need your own blog now?" (in a joking manner...I think).

So I'm definitely not important enough that I need a blog. But a few years ago, I had a blog mostly on fashion and it was awesome just venting anonymously but then I got too busy and gave it up. Now I'm a third year medical student, about to enter my fourth and final year (our school is a little different, so I should really say my fourth and long year). I feel myself losing the hobbies that once helped relax and define me, such as my love of fashion and reading. I need something to help keep me on it. A reason to relax so to speak. Pinterest is fun and all, but I like words too. And while all medical students are overworked and need to relax, I understand that is really not the only reason to have a blog. Oh gosh, I'm not sure the world would be ready for a takeover of blogs by medical students & residents! It's not like there are a million doctor based TV shows out there. Oh wait...

Well here are my stats:

• Female.
• I have a daughter. M's a four year old going on fourteen. She'll entertain you as well. I'm pretty sure she's the only reason people navigate to my facebook page. 
• I am in medical school. No. Not boring. You thought Starbucks was the place to go when you need a little bit of comedic relief? Doctors offices are a comedians wet dream.
• I am in medical school and I am also a single mother. Not only was I the only mother in my class  (until a month ago), I was the only single mother that I knew in all four classes. We had a another one in the class of 2011, she got married at the end and graduated. Boo! No no, just kidding. I was truly happy for her. Either way, the past three years has given me a lot of perspective on life.
• My ex and I are well...interesting. See that alone could be worth reading this blog. I call him the Ex-ish because we have to remain besties for my daughter so in a way he can't be out of my life completely... actually we haven't talked much for two years and I am attempting to be besties..for our daughter. Interesting huh?
• I love fashion. Really love may be an understatement. I think my heart has a special spot just for fashion. 
• I like literature; reading novels and writing poetry.
• I'll probably talk about my love of wine as well. I'll try to talk about it AFTER I've drank. It'll be more fun that way. 
• My other hobbies include celeb gossip (it is a hobby!), photography and mind numbing TV shows (my brain needs many breaks) so you may have to endure some of that once in a while.

Therefore, I just want to share my thoughts. I'll dish about my navigation through medical school and the rest of my medical profession, mommyhood, my lifetime movie love life, and all the hott shoes there are in the world. I think writing this may be just what the doctor ordered. I may not have wordy  posts like this introduction because I probably will not have the time but I am hoping my short & sweet posts will entertain. On that note, grammar nazi's beware I will not spend time editing. 

If only one person reads this and enjoys it, I'll be happy. Even if that one person is just my friend LC (a grammar nazi)...because I'm sending her the link right after I publish this post. Hi LC! 

Sincerely,
Gypsy

p.s why the pseudo-name? I'll be applying to residency at the end of this year. It may be best to be a little anonymous for the time being. No worries, I'm not going to rob you. It is a nickname I've had since growing up because I'm a bit of a mutt ethnicity wise. Just think of it as my ancestors liked to procreate all around the world.